Department of Social Services Community Care Licensing Division

If you are researching for a preschool for your child or curious about how well your child(ren)'s current school/daycare facility is complying with the rules and regulations surrounding their child care license, you must check out the Department of Social Services Community Care Licensing Division website.

In my research for a preschool for my child, I came across this website. It raised a red flag on one of the top three schools I am interested in learning more of. In a list of licensed child care facilities in my area, this particular school came up with the license status of "Probationary" while the statuses of all the other schools are simply "Licensed". This was the red flag that prompted me to pursue further. Why is their license on probation? Unfortunately, the website doesn't provide this information. To view the licensing file of any facility, one would have to personally go to a regional office and request for a review. I called our regional office to see if I could get more information before I make the trip.

The woman who helped me was very helpful. She read to me all the information under this school's file from the last three years (which coincides with the amount of time its license has been put on probation). With over 15 entries, the complaints/violations this school accumulated in the past three years ranged from a mild violation of staff to child ratio on a certain day to a serious complaint of a teacher pushing a child down on his/her chest to get the child to lay down for a nap. Other serious violations included cutting bread on a meat-cutting surface, children found in the bathroom during nap time without shoes and socks on and unsupervised, staff members yelling at each other thereby scaring the children, staff members not knowing who is in charge when the director was out, foul smell in the kitchen due to old food being discarded improperly, etc, etc. I was stunned by all these violations from one single school. One would never guess the inadequacies of this school when visiting its website. With all the pictures of smiling children, testimonies from satisfied parents, and a convincing curriculum, the website painted a very pretty picture of this school. And with the number of children still enrolled, most of the parents are probably unaware of what's going on. It's vital to keep abreast of the licensing status of your child(ren)'s school even if all seem fine on the surface. You wouldn't know what you will find.

After I had heard enough about this school and all its violations, and needless to say after crossing it off my list of contenders, I inquired about two other schools on my list. To my amazement one school had only 1 minor violation in its 13 years of operation and the other had only 2 minor violations in 16 years. With this information in hand, I am ready to visit these two schools in person and hopefully be able to choose one for my child.

I am very glad I came across the Department of Social Services Community Care Licensing Division website (http://www.ccld.ca.gov/). This is a very useful resource for parents looking for a dependable school/child care facility for their children. Please make use of it. Even if the website doesn't raise any concern about your facility, do not be shy to call your regional office to inquiry further.

Bachan

Our babysitter had a medical emergency last Thursday. To give her a chance to rest and recuperate, we kept Chloe at home for almost a week. Since it happened suddenly, we had to scramble to make arrangements for Chloe’s care in the interim. I ended up taking 1.5 days off work. Randy took one day. Randy’s mom (Chloe’s Bachan) took 2 days off and came over to stay at our house to watch Chloe the remaining 2 days.

We are so fortunate that Randy’s mom was (1) able to take the days off on such late notice and (2) willing to do so. Not only was she willing, she practically jumped at the opportunity to spend time with her grand-baby. I know of grandparents who live so far away from their families that they cannot help when help is needed. I also know of grandparents who are not so inclined to chip in even though they love their children/grandchildren dearly. With these in mind, we are grateful for such a doting and helpful Bachan.

Side note: Not only did Bachan come over to watch Chloe, she even cleaned our stove, range hood, microwave, and toaster oven and weeded our backyard while she was here. Where did she find time to do all this while taking such good care of our little rascal? This shows it IS possible to keep a tidy house even with a little one in tow. We obviously have lots to learn from Bachan. We should have her over more often. :)

Teething

The last couple days and nights, my happy baby was taken down drastically by teething. Her gums were swollen. She had a fever that wouldn't go away. She wouldn't eat. She wouldn't play. She couldn't sleep. She was irritable. She clung to me or Auntie Felicia all day and all night. Even Daddy wasn't welcome and that really hurt his feelings. This was the first time she experienced so much discomfort due to teething.

Fortunately this only persisted about 2 days and 2 nights. Now she's almost completely back to her normal self. She's playing. She's laughing. She's silly. She doesn't need us to hold her all the time. She's sleeping back in her crib again. She's eating her solids. The only thing she's not doing is drinking as much milk as before. Compared to the last couple of days, this is already vast improvement and Randy and I are smiling ear to ear because of it. Nothing makes us happier than seeing our baby happy.

15-Month Stats

Chloe had her 15-month check up on Friday. Here are her current stats:

Weight: 20 lb, 6 oz (14th percentile)
Height: 30.25 in (45th percentile)
Head Circumference: 47.7 cm (90th percentile)

I was glad to hear she caught up with her height. At 12 months, her height was in the 20th percentile. Between the 3-month period between 9 and 12 months, she only grew 0.75 inches. In contrast, between the 3-month period between 12 and 15 months, she grew 1.5 inches. When I heard she grew less than 1 inch at her 12-month checkup, I got a bit worried. Now I feel much better to hear she's back on track with her growth.

As to her weight, I'm not worried that she is only in the 14th percentile. I know babies' weight gains tend to taper off as they gain mobility and start to burn off more calories. Chloe eats well. I have no worries that she will eventually gain back the weight she's burning off with her constant running around. It just begs the question - why can't I burn off more calories and lose some of these extra weight when I'm constantly chasing after her???

Now on to her head circumference. She's in the 90th percentile once again. She's been in that range since birth. What can I say? The girl's got brains...at least room for it anyway. :P

Laughing Gas to "Take the Edge Off"

This would be interesting to witness in the labor room. http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2011/02/13/state/n105743S09.DTL

Don't you like how they keep saying pain management helps to "take the edge off" of labor pains? Well, we need management for the spikes and thorns too, not just the edge.

Leehom Wang 王力宏

I haven't been following up with Cantonese or Mandarin Pop since I left my Chinese TV job, but recently I've been listening to some on You Tube. Here are two that I really like from cutie pie Leehom Wang 王力宏. Enjoy.


你不知道的事




需要人陪

Random update of Chloe's progression

Chloe's ability to comprehend what we say has progressed quite noticeably lately. Even though she still cannot respond by words, her actions show she understands what we say. A few examples are:

(1) She was running around my parents' house. I told her in Cantonese to go press on the Snowman and dance. (This is the snowman she danced with in the video Randy posted on FB.) She immediately changed her course and went to the snowman, pressed on the button to activate it, and started dancing.

(2) She was running around our house. I told her it's time to change her diaper. She stopped. Looked at me for a split second and then darted off...to stand right in front of the changing table.

(3) At the school that the babysitter's son goes to, the teacher asked Chloe where's Gor Gor (This means "big brother" in Cantonese and that's what Chloe calls the babysitter's sons.) Chloe couldn't answer, but she went over to the babysitter's son and stood next to him.

I get so happy everytime she responds to our spoken language. It just shows how quickly our baby is growing up. Next up would be her meaningless rambling turning into meaningful words.

Sleep Training

Chloe had been able to sleep in her own crib without our presence since June. But for some reason, around the holidays she suddenly started to reject her crib and cry every time we try to put her down. She ended up sleeping in our room in her play pen for about a week. Some nights she even cried in the middle of the night and ended up sleeping in our bed because we were too tired to deal with her antics. We brought this to her doctor’s attention and the doctor pretty much gave an executive order to start sleep training before this new habit gets too strong to break.

We started the sleep training with her late morning nap on Saturday. She had just finished her mid morning meal, so she was full. We changed her diaper, so she was clean. We kissed her, gave her the binky and told her it was time to take a nap. As expected, she started crying the second me put her into the crib. On the doctor’s order, we left her crying in the crib, left the room and shut the door.

She continued to cry, heart wrenchingly and nonstop for an hour. We watched via the video monitor as she roamed around the crib trying to get out. Through the crying her binky fell out of her mouth and onto the floor, where she had no way of retrieving. Without the binky, she cried even harder. Eventually she got tired, laid down and fell asleep.

45 minutes later, she woke up, realized she was alone in the crib and cried again. Although 45 minutes is considered a short nap, it was enough to rejuvenate her until the next nap. We also couldn’t bare another round of crying. Therefore we decided to free her from her confinement. It was a big relief to see her smile again when we picked her up. I was afraid she would remember what had transpired 45 minutes ago and give us a temper tantrum and/or guilt trip. Fortunately a 1-year-old is not capable of such attitude.

Later on that night, when it came time to sleep, we once again put her in the crib alone after making sure she was fed and cleaned. But this time we threw in three extra binkies in addition to the one already in her mouth. When I saw the binky fall out of her mouth during the previous crying session, I made a mental note to throw in a few extra ones in case she drops it again. This move proved highly affective. The extra binkies not only functioned as replacements, apparently they also functioned as a distraction to her emotions because after only 10 minutes of crying she started to play with the binkies. The crying ceased. She suddenly didn’t seem bothered by being alone anymore. Again we monitored her and this time it was actually amusing to watch her play with the binkies, rolling from one side of the crib to another. 40 minutes later she fell asleep.

From one hour of nonstop crying earlier in the day to just 10 minutes of light crying at night, this was a huge improvement. I started to feel better about letting her cry herself to sleep. As a mother, it’s always difficult to see your baby suffer through an uncomfortable situation.

Sunday night we continued with the sleep training. (We didn’t do it at nap times because we were on the road and she napped in the car.) Learning from the previous night’s experience, we once again gave her extra binkies before we left the room. As before, she cried the hardest at the moment we put her in the crib and left the room. But this time, she didn’t cry a long stretch before giving up. Instead she cried for a minute, stopped to play with the binkies and then maybe 5 minutes later let out another few cries/whimpers. These intermittent cries persisted for one hour and 15 minutes before she finally fell asleep. Is this improvement? I would say so because the crying wasn’t constant.

But as I thought her dependency on us started to improve, on Monday she exerted a lot of separation anxiety. When we arrived home after I picked her up from the babysitter’s, she wouldn’t let me out of her sight. In fact, she wouldn’t even let me put her down to play. She clung on to me like a monkey to a tree. Even her favorite toys couldn’t distract her from me. Then as I started our nightly routine in prepping her for bed, she started crying. From washing her face to changing her diaper, she whined because she knew what was coming next. Sure enough as I bent over the crib railing to put her down on her back, she screamed out in heart wrenching terror. I released my arms and stepped away from the crib. She immediately got onto her feet and walked to the edge of the crib reaching her arms out to me. My heart was torn to pieces watching and hearing her cry for me. I was ready to swoop her up and take her back with me as Daddy came in with an old iPod which he had just bought for her. She initially refused the iPod and continued to reach for me. After a couple minutes of coercion, she finally accepted the iPod (thought still whimpering) and turned her attention away from me. That was when I made my escape.

She played with the iPod for about 40 minutes before she fell asleep. She only let out a light cry on a couple of occasions. Again this seems to be improvement because the crying was limited to the initial couple of minutes when I put her in the crib. However, this time there was a different factor thrown into the mix – a toy. I don’t know if this toy, or any toy for that matter, would be another bad habit to break in the future.

As we continue Chloe’s sleep training, questions are floating in my head. Is sleep training really necessary? Is it really that bad to let your baby co-sleep with you? There are believers and there are non-believers. I unfortunately fall in the middle and can be teetered one way or the other depending on who I am talking to.

Arguments in favor of sleep training: You don’t want her to still be in your bed when she turns 16. Having your baby sleep in your bed is not good for your marriage. The crying is just her way of manipulating you to get her way.

Arguments against sleep training: It’s cruel to let her cry. How can you leave her in her cold room all alone? You are causing her a lot of anxiety and any form of anxiety is bad for her emotionally and psychologically.

Is that true? Are we really causing her anxiety? Are we messing with her emotional and psychological well being? If so, we need to stop this immediately. But if we stop, the last few nights of torturous crying would have been in vain.

Alas I think there is no turning back at this point. We have to finish what we started. We need to stand by our initial decision and give her time to learn. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair to her. After all she does show signs of improvement – from one hour of nonstop crying to barely a couple of cries (albeit with the distraction of a toy). I just hope she learns quickly and we can all leave this behind us and move on.

365 Days of Chloe

Chloe’s birthday had come and gone. With the blink of an eye, our baby is now 1 year old. Day by day, week by week, month by month, this year went by very quickly. But looking back at her earlier pictures, some of them seem like they were taken eons ago. There is indeed that mixed feeling of fast and slow, long and short. While her look hasn’t changed much, some features have changed slightly, i.e. her cheeks are smaller, her hair is fuller, etc. If not for pictures, I didn’t even notice these changes taking place.

Speaking of pictures, I completed my mission to take pictures of her everyday until she turned one. I decided to take on this project shortly before she was born. The inspiration came from a newspaper article I read which showcased a man’s project of the same nature, except he took a picture of his baby in the same pose everyday to show the progression of his growth. I didn’t want to subject myself to requiring the same props everyday therefore I simply decided I would take any picture of Chloe, no matter what pose or clothing she wears. Some days this was fun and easy to do. I mean who doesn’t want to take cute pictures of their baby? But other days it was a drag to think of yet another pose because I didn’t want to repeat what I did yesterday. After 365 days, I’ve accumulated thousands of pictures of her. My computer runs smoothly everywhere else except for when I’m in the folder that holds her pictures. There are so many files in that folder that simply being in there bogs down the computer’s processor!

When I first began the project, I intended to select a picture to represent each day, print out 365 pictures, and put them all in a traditional photo album. Well, all that have changed now that the project is done. For one thing, it was difficult to select only one picture per day. Most days had multiple good pictures of her and I didn’t have the heart to eliminate them down to just one. Secondly, the idea of placing prints in an album didn’t sound appealing anymore because I would’ve had to manually label each picture with the corresponding day and add captions. That just sounded too cumbersome to me.

Those of you who follow my Facebook have seen my daily pictures of Chloe and their corresponding captions. While I was diligent in uploading these pictures to FB on a fairly timely manner, I was slacking off in collecting the files for the final printing. I wasn’t joking when I posted this on my status:
"Dear FB: Can you make my life easier and let me order prints of my Photos so I don't have to re-upload them onto another photo site in order to get them printed?"

So what did I end up doing in terms of getting this project printed? I ended up creating a photo book. A photo book allows me to arrange the pictures and add captions more easily than loose pictures inserted into an album or scrapbook. Still it took me almost 2 weeks of spending about 2-3 hours per day to select the pictures, arrange them in daily order, upload them, arrange them into the book, and add captions.

Today I am proud to say the book is completed and ordered. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief that this year-long project is done and put to rest. I’ll breathe an even bigger sigh of relief and satisfaction when I receive the book and see that it comes out as nicely as I hope it will come out. (Fingers are crossed that it will come out nicely.)

Here are the cover and last pages of the photo book for all to peruse prior to the arrival of the finished product.

Cover:


Last page:


P.S. Don’t ask me what I will do for my second baby (if and when I have a second baby). I haven’t the slightest idea!

ADHD

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40113826/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/?gt1=43001

A new research says 1 in 10 kids in the U.S. is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. This is a 22% increase since 2003. The researchers point to more awareness and better screening as possible causes for the jump, not necessarily because more kids than before are getting this disorder.

This is one of those controversial illnesses that some people believe is legitimate while others believe is just the pharmaceutical industry’s way of selling more drugs to boost their bottom line.

I do believe ADHD is for real. I do believe drugs can help alleviate the symptoms for those who truly have the disorder. But are there really that many legitimate cases out there? Are doctors quicker to diagnose this disorder now than before because it’s more in their front burners? One reason for the increase in diagnosis is awareness right? Then did the power of suggestion come into play?

Kids will be kids and they will be active. To some, they may even be overactive. Heck, last night I got all sweaty and exhausted playing with my almost-1-year-old. She kept crawling and cruising around to touch this and that and then back to this again. I was lucky if she stayed on any one item for more than 3 seconds. Did it cross my mind that she may have ADHD? When I couldn’t catch my breath, yes! But all the other times I’m just glad that she’s doing what she's supposed to be doing - actively check out what this vast world has to offer her.

Graco Stoller Recall

Here is a link to read about this recall.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39750625/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/?GT1=43001

Two thoughts:

(1) The deaths occurred between 2003 and 2005. It's already 2010! It took them that long to issue a recall??? Why even bother? Are there a lot of protocol to follow and/or red tape to cut through? If so, they have to get rid of all that and take more immediate action.

(2) Entrapment and strangulation can occur if babies are not strapped in properly. Put another way, if parents DO THEIR JOB and strap their babies in properly this will not occur. This is another case of irresponsible parenting leading to disastrous outcomes. I feel sorry for Graco for having to take accountability for bad parents who don’t pay attention to the safety of their own kids.

Preschool

Preschool? Really? Do I have to start the process of looking and applying for a preschool for Chloe already? I have no idea where to start! I have never felt so lost before. Should I look in our city? Should I look in SF? Do I HAVE TO look in our city? Is there a list I can look into? What should I look for when I go on a tour? What questions should I ask?

Does anyone have any tips to offer? Please!

A poor man's house addition

We did a poor man's home addition. Well, sort of. The idea was to add covered space to our house for Chloe's upcoming 1st birthday party. We have a lot of guests to invite but we have a dinky little house. If her birthday was in a warmer season our guests can simply hangout in the backyard. But being in late November, we are destined to deal with unfavorable weather.

The options we have for her birthday party are:

(1) have it at some restaurant with the venue and food all taken care of. But this can be impersonal and expensive.

(2) rent an indoor space somewhere and bring in the food. Space rental is a big one-time charge. We will have to pay this money again next time we have another party.

(3) have the party at our house and somehow increase covered space to enhance the comfort of our guests in case the weather doesn't cooperate.

We are opting for option 3. If we find a good solution to adding covered space for people to gather, we can reuse it every time we have any sort of party. Let's face it, just Chloe's birthdays itself will forever be during fringe weather season.

So we set out to look for a canopy to turn a portion of our abundant outdoor space into pseudo indoor space to shield people from the elements. At first we had in mind a temporary canopy to put up when we need it and take down when we don't. But while shopping at Costco, Randy came upon this steel frame canopy meant for long term use. As you can see in the picture of the packaging, it is sturdy enough to use as a long term carport. It comes with heavy duty steel frame and coverage on all 4 sides in addition to the roof. This looked much more appealing than the temporary ones with aluminum frame and no "walls". Our area can get really windy so the 4 walls will be useful to block out the wind. This seemed like the perfect solution for our needs.


The only thing we had to consider was the rather permanent nature of this addition. Do we want this huge 10'x20' structure to be added to our backyard on a long term basis? How obtrusive will it be? How much natural lighting will it block off from our house? After some consideration, we decided to give it a try. We can always return it if it doesn't work out.

I am happy to report we do not plan on returning it. It turned out even better than we imagined. The design of the product is impeccable. We were more than amazed as we were assembling it. The ingenuity, the design, the quality, the ease of assembly all exceeded expectations. It's been up 3 days now and it is standing strong. It definitely fulfills all of our needs.

In addition, the dimensions of the canopy are so perfect it is as if it was custom made for our house. Because of it's perfect size, it does not feel nor look obtrusive at all. Since the roof is at a triangular slope, even though it butts up right next to our kitchen and bathroom windows, it still manages to funnel a good amount of sunlight into the house. Hence our concern of it blocking off natural lighting to our house is a non-concern.

On top of that, the cost of the canopy is a mere $200. $250 if you add the cement blocks we added to anchor it down. A $250 poor man's house addition. That's something worth blogging about.


Exterior view with awning closed.

Interior view from the garage.

Too early for punishment?

I punished Chloe this morning. She refused to finish her milk so I sat her in her highchair and confined her in it without toys while we got ready for work.

Lately she hasn’t been drinking all her milk. She would gobble up all her solid meals but would always leave an ounce or two in the bottle. I grew up with a mother who made me eat all my food before I was allowed to leave the dinner table and attended an elementary school whose cafeteria staff didn’t allow any student out to the yard to play until they finished their lunch. Not finishing your food was a big no no in my childhood. And don’t forget the cliché “with so many people starving in this world, it is a sin to waste food”. All this shaped me into a parent who will make sure her kid finishes her meals.

During her 10+ minutes of confinement, she never cried but she did moan and groan to be let out. She raised her arms and pleaded for freedom each time Randy or I walked passed but ignored her. When I finally freed her, I picked her up and told her in a warm voice, “Mommy had to punish you for not eating all your milk. You need to be a good girl and finish your milk okay?” She babbled her usual “dah dah wah wah” in response.

That led me to wonder…does she understand punishment at this age? Are my efforts to impose a punishment and follow with a verbal explanation still too advanced for a 10-month-old infant without language capabilities? Is it cruel to punish a 10-month-old who doesn’t know right from wrong? Does she know right from wrong?

Comparison Photos

It's not that we need to prove she is our child. Neither is it that we need to verify the hospital gave us the correct child to go home with. Comparison photos like these just melt your heart and amaze your mind that you indeed brought an offshoot of yourselves into this world.

Here I Am Once Again

My abandoned blog...I am so sorry. I abandoned you after I became pregnant with my now 10 month old baby. One would think I would report to you more often during my pregnancy to document the progress. What with the fatigue associated with pregnancy and all the things you have to do to prepare for the arrival of the most wonderful gift ever bestowed upon you that took away all the time and energy to keep a blog active. Here I am, returning 1 year and 7 months after my last post.

A Proposal That Went Awry

Have to share this article I read about a proposal that went awry. As cute as it is, I'm glad it didn't happen to me. :P

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29462344?GT1=43001

A Good Review

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/02/06/DD9915MEGE.DTL&type=movies

This is a review of the animated film "Coraline" I read on SFGate. This writer can write! I am more intrigued by his writing than by the film itself. But because of his exceptional writing, I now want to watch the film to confirm or disconfirm his thoughts.

Bravo to good writing.

The Human Race

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28873370/?GT1=43001

Things like this make me want to cancel my membership with the human race. A company wants to sell a doll named and modeled after 2-year-old slained Caylee Anthony. How can anyone want to profit from a poor little girl's murder?

The company defended the doll, saying "in addition to raising money for a national missing and exploited children's organization, the doll would help promote awareness. We want to give … we're not trying to get rich. We're putting ourselves at a whole lot of risk... She'll be a banner for missing and exploited children, and people will know and have a better idea how to handle those situations or stop those situations from happening."

That's a bunch of BS. Money, not social awareness, is what they're after. They've suspended the sale of this doll for now. I hope they downright take it off the market for good.

On top of that, this company has been rated with an "F" by the BBB. This pretty much sums up the poor business practice and/or ethics this company has. If this doll does end up getting back on the market for sale, I truly hope no one buys it. The idea is just disgusting and disgraceful.

BATS Improv
Last night we went to see the BATS Improv show at Fort Mason. The tickets were one of my two anniversary gifts to RF. Since the 1st anniversary is symbolized by paper, my paper gift to him was the tickets to the Improv show.

RF had told me about BATS Improv a long time ago. He had watched it once before many years ago and he really enjoyed it. We’ve been talking about catching a show for quite some time now. At one point we even asked our friends if anyone was interested. But we didn’t have any takers. I figured we would go on our own this time on a date.

BATS has been performing in SF since 1986. Besides improvised performances, they also offer improv workshops training improvisational performance to individual or groups. The current run is from January through February and have performances every Friday and Saturday nights. Called the Rock & Roll Theatresports, it divides the BATS cast into six Rock & Roll-themed teams to compete for the Theatresports championship. Each night, two teams compete in performing improvised games, songs, and scenes inspired by audience suggestions. At the end of each challenge, judges award points to each team and the audience screams out the name of the team they think did better in that challenge. That team gets to throw a big dice for extra points. The team with the most points wins and moves on to the championship round at the end of the run. The teams lastnight were Rockness Monster and The Swensen 5. The winning team was Rockness Monster, who won by a score of 100 to 83.

We both really enjoyed the show. It was very much like “Whose Line Is It Anyway” but a tad bit more amateurish. But that’s exactly what we expected. These are local actors doing a small intimate show for the local audience. The theater itself is small, which was perfect for the small audience of about 50. But the atmosphere was intimate, as if everyone knew everyone else. The cast asked members of the audience to participate on stage in a couple of skits and people were eager to volunteer. At $15 per ticket, this is an affordable show for two hours of fun and laughs. I will definitely be back for more. I highly recommend it to others as well.

Their website is www.improv.org